The Death Star and Twinkies: Yesterday and Today

Dec 11, 2012

It appears that the American people are fascinated with Twinkies and the Death Star - but we here at already knew that, of course.

The Washington Post writes about "We the People," a White House online petition program in which users try to collect the 25,000 electronic signatures required to guarantee an official administration response.

Forget the “fiscal cliff”: When it comes to the nation’s most pressing concerns, other matters trump financial calamity.

Several thousand Americans, for example, are calling on President Obama to nationalize the troubled Twinkies industry to prevent the loss of the snack cake’s “sweet creamy center.”

Thousands more have signed petitions calling on the White House to replace the courts with a single Hall of Justice, remove Jerry Jones as owner of the Dallas Cowboys, give federal workers a holiday on Christmas Eve, allow members of the military to put their hands in their pockets and begin construction of a “Star Wars”-style Death Star by 2016.

And that’s just within the past month.

The Post reports that more than 94,000 petitions have been created, and they have garnered 5.9 million signatures from 4 million users. The administration has issued 82 responses. The Today show also aired a segment on this story.

We certaintly don't take Twinkie's fate as seriously as the fiscal cliff, but that's not to say we don't harbor a deep sense of nostalgia for the iconic cream-filled treat. We were distraught to learn when Hostess filed for bankruptcy back in January, gave Twinkie a heartfelt eulogy when it looked like it might die, and voiced our displeasure at organized labor for its role in Twinkie's demise. And we continue to hold out hope that Hostess will be reincarnated by intellectual property.

As much as Twinkies remind us of our youthful innocence, the Star Wars trilogy captures our imagination of what future life in a galaxy far, far away might look like. Just like some of those White House petitioners, we have given some serious thought to the possible construction of another Death Star and have concluded that it has never come about for these five reasons.

As much as we love to bite into a Twinkie and marvel at the architectural genius of the Death Star, we would petition the White House on about a million different subjects before those two. Here's three to start with: cut spending, reform entitlements, and don't raise taxes.





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